Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends in Canada?
Making friends in adulthood is already hard—but in Canada, it can feel next level. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why connection feels so out of reach here, you’re not alone. This is something I’ve heard again and again from people between 25 and 45, and honestly? I’ve felt it too.
We live in a culture that prides itself on being nice, but let’s be real: nice isn’t the same as warm. It’s easy to have casual chats with coworkers or friendly interactions at the gym, but those connections often don’t move past the surface. There’s this unspoken social ceiling where people are polite, even friendly—but not necessarily open or inviting in a deeper way.
Let’s talk about the “Canadian Wall.”
You’ve probably felt it. That weird vibe where people seem friendly enough, but no one’s really initiating. Everyone’s busy. Everyone’s tired. And everyone already has their group chat, their people, their full calendar.
For those of us in our 30s (or somewhere close), friendship doesn’t look like it did in our teens or early 20s. You’re not meeting new people in class or living with friends. You’re juggling work, relationships, maybe parenting—or maybe feeling totally unanchored and not where you thought you’d be by now. Add winter to the mix, and it’s no wonder connection feels hard to come by.
The truth? People aren’t cold. They’re just... closed.
It’s not that people here don’t want connection—it’s that they often don't know how to make space for it. Many have long-standing social circles and aren’t actively looking to expand. Vulnerability doesn’t come easy in our culture, and a lot of us are scared to put ourselves out there for fear of feeling awkward, rejected, or too much.
But here's the thing: real connection almost always feels a little awkward at first.
We need to normalize that. The long silences, the “hey want to grab a coffee?” texts that don’t get a reply, the trial-and-error of building new friendships—it’s part of the process, not a sign that something’s wrong with you.
So what can we actually do about it?
Initiate, even when it feels weird. Ask someone to go for coffee, a walk, or check out an event. People often appreciate being invited more than we think.
Lower the bar. A good-enough hangout is still connection. It doesn’t have to be magical or super deep to be meaningful.
Keep showing up. Friendships are built through repetition and presence—like seeing the same person at yoga every week or bumping into the same dog-walkers.
Take small risks. Say the vulnerable thing. Ask the deeper question. Share something real and see what comes back.
If you’re craving community, you're not needy. You're human.
So many of us are in the same boat—scrolling through social media and wondering how everyone else seems so connected. The truth is, many are just as lonely, just as cautious, just as unsure how to go first.
Maybe that’s the real invitation here: to go first. To be the one who opens the door. You never know who’s waiting for someone to make the first move.
June 27, 2025
Chelsey Rosher
